As people meet each other, we must consider our life stories and the impact of the conditions of society on each other's lives. Remember, the face that we see represents a MASK of a much larger story. We need to get to know each other in real ways and allow ourselves the opportunity to share our love with each other with greater compassion and non-judgment. If we could do that, the world would be a much better place for us to live. (Taken from page 43 in Crossing Rough Waters)
I believe that if we could begin to tell our stories and hear another person's stories about their life, the fear that we feel about our lives could be lifted and mostly healed. I know that we have all shared our story with a friend or colleague and felt much better after the experience.
I call this intention "Story Sharing." Story Sharing is different than Story Telling because it is personal - about us. But, what I am finding is that most people are reluctant to tell their story -- the deep stuff. Some people call this "touchy-feely" stuff and they don't want to engage in it. Most times the deep stuff is painful and they choose to keep it to themselves because they don't want to let people in - understandably. But, I have found that by making oneself vulnerable and letting other people in to our lives, it helps us heal. When we are the listener for another person's story, we are saying in the Story Sharing experience "you are not alone - I care - and I have compassion for what you are going through, especially when we listen with non-judgment. I don't have all of your answers. But, I can listen and be a friend." We can offer recommendations ONLY when we are asked at any point in the exchange.
This sounds simple and we have all engaged in this process before. But, what I am finding since my book has been published is that many people are reluctant to speak the truth about what they are going through. And, what I know from having had the experience that has been so real in my life is that unless we can release the fear and pain, it is very difficult to get to a better place in our lives. We sometimes begin to act out our fear in ways that are inappropriate. We may think that no one notices. But, trust me, they do notice.
It is important to be selective about who you choose to share your story with. Timing is important and so is the setting. An agreement needs to be reached - in other words, we need to ask the other person if they would be willing to participate in this Story Sharing process with you. When you are coming to agreement with another person about wanting to talk with them about your Story, it is important to agree that it not become a time of bashing someone else, or having a pity party. The goal needs to be to help us see situations and circumstances in another way so that we become stronger and grow in our process. Instead of blaming another person for the discomfort in our lives, it is important to look at ourselves and from this vantage point, determine what we need to do to change and become a better person.
INVITATION: If you are having difficulty finding the person who you can share your story with, please post on this blog. You may feel free to remain anonymous, but give me a name to use as I respond. Briefly describe the issue and what it is you are trying to achieve or overcome. Perhaps there will be responses from several people who can help.
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Sarah Payne Naylor, Life & Career Coach
Author of Crossing Rough Waters
http://www.crossingroughwaters.com
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