As people meet each other, we must consider our life stories and the impact of the conditions of society on each other's lives. Remember, the face that we see represents a MASK of a much larger story. We need to get to know each other in real ways and allow ourselves the opportunity to share our love with each other with greater compassion and non-judgment. If we could do that, the world would be a much better place for us to live. (Taken from page 43 in Crossing Rough Waters)
I believe that if we could begin to tell our stories and hear another person's stories about their life, the fear that we feel about our lives could be lifted and mostly healed. I know that we have all shared our story with a friend or colleague and felt much better after the experience.
I call this intention "Story Sharing." Story Sharing is different than Story Telling because it is personal - about us. But, what I am finding is that most people are reluctant to tell their story -- the deep stuff. Some people call this "touchy-feely" stuff and they don't want to engage in it. Most times the deep stuff is painful and they choose to keep it to themselves because they don't want to let people in - understandably. But, I have found that by making oneself vulnerable and letting other people in to our lives, it helps us heal. When we are the listener for another person's story, we are saying in the Story Sharing experience "you are not alone - I care - and I have compassion for what you are going through, especially when we listen with non-judgment. I don't have all of your answers. But, I can listen and be a friend." We can offer recommendations ONLY when we are asked at any point in the exchange.
This sounds simple and we have all engaged in this process before. But, what I am finding since my book has been published is that many people are reluctant to speak the truth about what they are going through. And, what I know from having had the experience that has been so real in my life is that unless we can release the fear and pain, it is very difficult to get to a better place in our lives. We sometimes begin to act out our fear in ways that are inappropriate. We may think that no one notices. But, trust me, they do notice.
It is important to be selective about who you choose to share your story with. Timing is important and so is the setting. An agreement needs to be reached - in other words, we need to ask the other person if they would be willing to participate in this Story Sharing process with you. When you are coming to agreement with another person about wanting to talk with them about your Story, it is important to agree that it not become a time of bashing someone else, or having a pity party. The goal needs to be to help us see situations and circumstances in another way so that we become stronger and grow in our process. Instead of blaming another person for the discomfort in our lives, it is important to look at ourselves and from this vantage point, determine what we need to do to change and become a better person.
INVITATION: If you are having difficulty finding the person who you can share your story with, please post on this blog. You may feel free to remain anonymous, but give me a name to use as I respond. Briefly describe the issue and what it is you are trying to achieve or overcome. Perhaps there will be responses from several people who can help.
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Sarah Payne Naylor, Life & Career Coach
Author of Crossing Rough Waters
http://www.crossingroughwaters.com
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
WE HAVE OUR OWN ANSWERS
Consider whether you like what your life experiences have been and if this reflection feels good. Self understanding allows us to look at our life honestly and to make necessary changes. If we can do this, we will not waste this life that has been given to us, and we will be better able to help others along the way.
We can help ourselves in our fast-paced world if we slow things down a bit in order to think things through instead of shooting from the hip. It isn't necessary to provide the right answer instantly when we are asked to do so. Good listening skills and reflection time can make all the difference. Take a break, walk around the block, take a deep breath, or go to the gym. Do whatever it takes. I believe we all have our own answers, and if we allow ourselves time to contemplate and reflect, then our intuition can kick in.
Take the time to ask for your own messages. What information pops into your head first? Discern whether the idea seems to truly fit the circumstances before you. If it does, write down the message and then contemplate it. Consider how you are going to step up, act on the message and follow through. It is important to consider whether the information you receive is appropriate to act upon when you think about all of the factors involved. Trust your perception and intuition. You will know.
When you decide to move forward, sometimes your action will be met with a positive response, and sometimes it will not be. Whatever the case, if you know in your heart that this is the proper course of action, have courage to follow through and carefully consider how and when you will present the new information.
Q. What's going on in your life at the moment? Have you received good advice from others, or has the advice been more about the other person than about your issues? Have other people been angry or frustrated when you did not follow their suggestions? What did you do?
Taken from Crossing Rough Waters, p. 30
You can now order Crossing Rough Waters - Journey From Fear to Freedom on the new website, www.crossingroughwaters.com. You can also contact Sarah through the website's comment page.
Sign up to follow the Crossing Rough Waters BLOG and then post your comment.
We can help ourselves in our fast-paced world if we slow things down a bit in order to think things through instead of shooting from the hip. It isn't necessary to provide the right answer instantly when we are asked to do so. Good listening skills and reflection time can make all the difference. Take a break, walk around the block, take a deep breath, or go to the gym. Do whatever it takes. I believe we all have our own answers, and if we allow ourselves time to contemplate and reflect, then our intuition can kick in.
Take the time to ask for your own messages. What information pops into your head first? Discern whether the idea seems to truly fit the circumstances before you. If it does, write down the message and then contemplate it. Consider how you are going to step up, act on the message and follow through. It is important to consider whether the information you receive is appropriate to act upon when you think about all of the factors involved. Trust your perception and intuition. You will know.
When you decide to move forward, sometimes your action will be met with a positive response, and sometimes it will not be. Whatever the case, if you know in your heart that this is the proper course of action, have courage to follow through and carefully consider how and when you will present the new information.
Q. What's going on in your life at the moment? Have you received good advice from others, or has the advice been more about the other person than about your issues? Have other people been angry or frustrated when you did not follow their suggestions? What did you do?
Taken from Crossing Rough Waters, p. 30
You can now order Crossing Rough Waters - Journey From Fear to Freedom on the new website, www.crossingroughwaters.com. You can also contact Sarah through the website's comment page.
Sign up to follow the Crossing Rough Waters BLOG and then post your comment.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
MY GRATITUDE TREE
I woke up this morning thinking -- I am so grateful to be almost 68 years old - in December. I am so lucky to have had so many experiences in my life, both exciting and very challenging. The thought about being grateful was heightened a couple of weeks ago when I attended my 50th high school reunion. It felt like my classmates and I bonded with each other 50 years later in a way that never happened when we were in high school. Everyone came to the event in such a real and honest way. As we looked at the memorial wall that had been put together for us, I felt sad, but thankful that I am still here.
It was so great to meet the current principal of my high school - Grant Union High School. It is located in what used to be called Del Paso Heights, but has been incorporated into the city of Sacramento, California. When I grew up there, my family was very poor. As my friend, Dorothy and I drove around the neighborhood, we looked for the lot where my family home had been.
Both houses where my family lived in Del Paso Heights have long-since been demolished. I could only locate the lot where I spent most of my growing up years by the big old black walnut tree that still stood. It had signs of wear from the years. It had once provided an umbrella of shade over our house and had been the tree that had many limbs for me and my brothers to climb to see our neighborhood from that vantage point.
As I looked at it from our car I was saddened because the lower limbs had been cut so that the tree had an upright stance. It was no longer graceful, but stood as a tall, tired-looking sentry behind its current home. Seeing that tree reminded me of years gone by. It was the only visible landmark of my childhood, and that was probably appropriate. The tree heard the children screaming and crying and provided solace for our tears. It became our safe haven when we needed a nearby escape out of our home where there was so much tension and frustration. It was our strength and I was so grateful to see it still standing. From this vantage point in my life I could look at that old tree with such gratitude for its presence in my life. I believe trees hold much wisdom. We would be so fortunate if we could hear their messages of fortitude, strength, grace, love, etc.
Sarah Payne Naylor - Author; Life and Career Coach
Crossing Rough Waters - Journey From Fear to Freedom
Available from www.crossingroughwaters.com and from Amazon.com
e-mail: sarah@crossingroughwaters.com
It was so great to meet the current principal of my high school - Grant Union High School. It is located in what used to be called Del Paso Heights, but has been incorporated into the city of Sacramento, California. When I grew up there, my family was very poor. As my friend, Dorothy and I drove around the neighborhood, we looked for the lot where my family home had been.
Both houses where my family lived in Del Paso Heights have long-since been demolished. I could only locate the lot where I spent most of my growing up years by the big old black walnut tree that still stood. It had signs of wear from the years. It had once provided an umbrella of shade over our house and had been the tree that had many limbs for me and my brothers to climb to see our neighborhood from that vantage point.
As I looked at it from our car I was saddened because the lower limbs had been cut so that the tree had an upright stance. It was no longer graceful, but stood as a tall, tired-looking sentry behind its current home. Seeing that tree reminded me of years gone by. It was the only visible landmark of my childhood, and that was probably appropriate. The tree heard the children screaming and crying and provided solace for our tears. It became our safe haven when we needed a nearby escape out of our home where there was so much tension and frustration. It was our strength and I was so grateful to see it still standing. From this vantage point in my life I could look at that old tree with such gratitude for its presence in my life. I believe trees hold much wisdom. We would be so fortunate if we could hear their messages of fortitude, strength, grace, love, etc.
Sarah Payne Naylor - Author; Life and Career Coach
Crossing Rough Waters - Journey From Fear to Freedom
Available from www.crossingroughwaters.com and from Amazon.com
e-mail: sarah@crossingroughwaters.com
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Getting Over the Rough Spots
Crossing Rough Waters - Journey from Fear to Freedom is about our faith journey. Do you believe there is a higher power to see you through, especially during life's challenges? Do you believe you are never alone in these moments? These rough spots can provide lessons to help us grow stronger.
Childhood experiences of emotional and physical abuse were difficult in my life. Until I began to learn lessons from these experiences, people in my life were emotionally abusive. Some of my lessons were (1) to learn to like and love myself even when I didn't measure up to my own expectations; (2) I learned not to compare myself with others because I am a unique person who is not like anyone else on the planet; (3) I learned that I am very intuitive and I am able to feel the mood of people and environments almost instantly; (4) I learned that by approving of myself, my self-esteem and confidence improved; and (5) I learned to say YES to having new experiences instead of being afraid to change.
What is happening at the moment that is creating the rough waters in your life? Are you willing and able to face your own truth and fears. I believe that it is important not to blame anyone else for difficult situations or discomfort, even though they may have created some of the turmoil. People in our lives are acting out their parts in our life play to help us learn lessons. I believe that we are mirrors for each other. I know that children cannot protect themselves from abusive situations. But, as adults, we are able to think back on those times and consider what it might take for us to become stronger. Experiences of the past must not block us from experiencing our best possible life opportunities today. What lessons are you learning today and how are you becoming stronger?
Today there are many reasons that we might be fearful. These are challenging times. Please know that God is with you - you are never alone - even in the bleakest times. What are you grateful for? Make a list that you can refer to often. Know that you are a terrific human-being. Consider the many God-given gifts and talents that you have and how you can use them, even in the smallest ways. How can you make a difference in someone else's life, even when your circumstances are challenging?
I look forward to our times together in this Crossing Rough Waters blog.
Be Unique. Be Faithful. Be Loving. Be Strong. Be Kind. Be God's Gift in the World.
Read: Crossing Rough Waters - Journey from Fear to Freedom
by Sarah Payne Naylor - Author/Life and Career Coach
Available at crossingroughwaters.com or from Amazon.com
Childhood experiences of emotional and physical abuse were difficult in my life. Until I began to learn lessons from these experiences, people in my life were emotionally abusive. Some of my lessons were (1) to learn to like and love myself even when I didn't measure up to my own expectations; (2) I learned not to compare myself with others because I am a unique person who is not like anyone else on the planet; (3) I learned that I am very intuitive and I am able to feel the mood of people and environments almost instantly; (4) I learned that by approving of myself, my self-esteem and confidence improved; and (5) I learned to say YES to having new experiences instead of being afraid to change.
What is happening at the moment that is creating the rough waters in your life? Are you willing and able to face your own truth and fears. I believe that it is important not to blame anyone else for difficult situations or discomfort, even though they may have created some of the turmoil. People in our lives are acting out their parts in our life play to help us learn lessons. I believe that we are mirrors for each other. I know that children cannot protect themselves from abusive situations. But, as adults, we are able to think back on those times and consider what it might take for us to become stronger. Experiences of the past must not block us from experiencing our best possible life opportunities today. What lessons are you learning today and how are you becoming stronger?
Today there are many reasons that we might be fearful. These are challenging times. Please know that God is with you - you are never alone - even in the bleakest times. What are you grateful for? Make a list that you can refer to often. Know that you are a terrific human-being. Consider the many God-given gifts and talents that you have and how you can use them, even in the smallest ways. How can you make a difference in someone else's life, even when your circumstances are challenging?
I look forward to our times together in this Crossing Rough Waters blog.
Be Unique. Be Faithful. Be Loving. Be Strong. Be Kind. Be God's Gift in the World.
Read: Crossing Rough Waters - Journey from Fear to Freedom
by Sarah Payne Naylor - Author/Life and Career Coach
Available at crossingroughwaters.com or from Amazon.com
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